In September 2009, I was out celebrating a friends' birthday in New Market, Auckland. As they were leaving to go clubbing (as most twenty-somethings do), I was getting my 5 month pregnant self home – which that night, was a place I was house-sitting on the North Shore.
Driving around the bend to head up the Auckland Harbour Bridge, I hear a loud “BANG”! A blown tyre. I had no choice but to proceed up the bridge.
Fortunately, I safely guided myself to the nearest offramp and somehow wobbled my way through a few streets, ending up in an ill lit area.
It was probably one of the loneliest hours of my life. It was late, it was dark, I was 5 months pregnant, I had no idea where I had driven to and my phone was about to run out of battery. My family weren’t answering their phones, I had no partner I could call on and I was (foolishly) concerned about bothering my friends so late at night. Thankfully, my dad woke up, called me back and came to my rescue.
While I had taken a brave stance during my rough pregnancy, I suddenly felt helpless, alone and completely out of control. I didn’t have a dramatic cry, it was worse. There was only silence, and a little person kicking in my stomach.
I found myself asking: "How did my life end up here?"
I never want to be stuck again.
Lately I’ve been stuck, but it has been very subtle. So much of my typical day has been going wrong. Issues include; irregularity of sleep, meals and exercise and in general, a poor grasp of time. I love spending time with friends and this season of my life means a lot of time with other mums. I haven’t managed this efficiently though, sometimes seeing friends every day in a week.
It’s been leaving me thinking ‘what on Earth happened to the day/week/month?’
You’ve been there, I know you have!! A lot of you probably are there right now.
So, what do YOU want out of life?
What are a few of the things you would like to do before you die?
Would you be able to name 100 of those things? For example:
Learn a language
Have a lovely husband or wife (kids?)
Visit New York
Write a book
Invent a cocktail
Learn how to paint
Have you written any of this down? Have you made up any sort of plan?
I was fortunate enough to go away for a few weeks (thus my absence from blogging) and work a few of these things out. I’ll elaborate on this tomorrow…