Saturday, October 30, 2010

stuck?

In September 2009, I was out celebrating a friends' birthday in New Market, Auckland.  As they were leaving to go clubbing (as most twenty-somethings do), I was getting my 5 month pregnant self home – which that night, was a place I was house-sitting on the North Shore.

Driving around the bend to head up the Auckland Harbour Bridge, I hear a loud “BANG”!   A blown tyre.  I had no choice but to proceed up the bridge.


Fortunately, I safely guided myself to the nearest offramp and somehow wobbled my way through a few streets, ending up in an ill lit area.

It was probably one of the loneliest hours of my life.  It was late, it was dark, I was 5 months pregnant, I had no idea where I had driven to and my phone was about to run out of battery.  My family weren’t answering their phones, I had no partner I could call on and I was (foolishly) concerned about bothering my friends so late at night.  Thankfully, my dad woke up, called me back and came to my rescue.

While I had taken a brave stance during my rough pregnancy, I suddenly felt helpless, alone and completely out of control.  I didn’t have a dramatic cry, it was worse.  There was only silence, and a little person kicking in my stomach. 


I found myself asking:  "How did my life end up here?"

I never want to be stuck again.

Lately I’ve been stuck, but it has been very subtle.  So much of my typical day has been going wrong.  Issues include; irregularity of sleep, meals and exercise and in general, a poor grasp of time.  I love spending time with friends and this season of my life means a lot of time with other mums.  I haven’t managed this efficiently though, sometimes seeing friends every day in a week. 

It’s been leaving me thinking ‘what on Earth happened to the day/week/month?’

You’ve been there, I know you have!!  A lot of you probably are there right now.

So, what do YOU want out of life?

What are a few of the things you would like to do before you die? 

Would you be able to name 100 of those things?  For example:

Learn a language
Hang-glide
 Have a lovely husband or wife  (kids?)
Visit New York
Write a book
Invent a cocktail
Learn how to paint

Have you written any of this down?  Have you made up any sort of plan?

I was fortunate enough to go away for a few weeks (thus my absence from blogging) and work a few of these things out.  I’ll elaborate on this tomorrow…

1 comment:

  1. Well, "tomorrow" is nearly over......... so I think I'll wait till "tomorrow-tomorrow" to elaborate. I don't think anyone will really mind... but if you are reading this going "Oi!" just check out my new trademe listings via the link on the right under my profile ;-)

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